Where there’s fire, there’s smoke.

Back in the ’50’s, 60’s the only warning on cigarette packs was related to starting fires.

And Big Tobacco continued it’s on-going campaign of downplaying and contradicting the negative health impact of smoking in the face of years worth of proven medical evidence to the contrary.

Today Big Oil has adopted that same strategy – blowing smoke up our collective butts – in the face of the devastating impact of climate change on weather patterns around the globe including terrifying flooding and severe droughts that have caused wild fires to burn uncontrollably.

I do not understand the lack of foresight because you can’t eat, drink or breathe money.

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Art or Brain Fart?

Now that I’m very close to completing my basement renovation, there are moments as I look around that a detail so begs my attention, awash in natural light, that I’m compelled to take a picture.

Does this make it art?

Or is it just a matter of pride and sense of accomplishment that makes it seem so special? After all I’ve been at it going on two years now.

Or, is it just a load of hot air looking for an exit?

One thing’s for sure. If real work doesn’t start materializing soon, all this effort won’t be worth any more than a fart in the wind.

See ya later alligators.

And if you can’t send work, just send money.

 

 

Working without pay.

If anyone’s been wondering, I’ve been working on finishing our basement for just over a year now which includes office spaces for both my wife and myself. We both work from home.

Although I’ve found that doing all the work myself very satisfying, with part-time help from my sons with the drywall which was fun, this project is finally nearing completion.

Now I need to start devoting much more time and energy
into getting work that pays – got any?

If you’re on my mailing list you’ll be getting an e-blast soon!
And if you can’t send work, just send money.

🙂

 

Beyond the Thunderdome

Toronto, arguably the mecca for all biz-buzz in the marketing and advertising world of Canada.

But of course the internet has made places on a map superfluous so that title really lives mostly in perception, doesn’t it.

FABULO-CITY is the new mecca.
That place in our mind where creativity perculates, bubbles up to the surface then flows freely from one wifi connection to the next.

Location, location, location just doesn’t really matter any more in this realm.

All this to say that even though I physically may live hours outside of TO, I’m readily available for off-site freelance work. Anytime, any day.

I can provide you with art direction & layout, concept development and final artwork or help out with those tedious, mind-numbing and detail oriented jobs for which you just don’t have the time or energy to tackle.

Smiles are included albeit subdued*.

So if you can’t send work, please do send money.
(Insert subdued smile here)

*I’m going through some major dental work at the moment and damn, it’s expensive!

Ultra Violet. She’s not a super hero.

But she could be.

Personally not a fan of the colour violet
but it’s an awesome name for a ‘super girl’ don’t you think?

 

 

My surprising stint as letter carrier for Canada Post.

Actually the position was Temporary On-Call Letter Carrier meaning they can call you anytime (or not) for a few hours of work (or not).

It was last spring and freelance was slow when I’d seen this opportunity and it was just 5 minutes away from home.

I’d remembered that as a kid I’d thought that delivering mail was such a neat job so I figured, why not go for it. It might be fun and I could easily work around it when the freelance woke up again.

I applied online and immediately upon completing, I received the typical automatic reply along the lines of, only those candidates deemed worthy of human contact will be notified. Blah, blah, blah.

No surprise here.

A week later I received an email from Canada Post HR inviting me to take their online assessment otherwise know as the General Abilities Test.

No surprise here. I obviously nailed it.

After passing the 90-minute online test, the following steps were up next, all of which needed to be completed successfully to carry on down the rabbit hole:

• Personnel Screening Part 1 / Interview for which a character reference, driver’s abstract and passport were required.
• Personnel Screening Part 2 / fingerprinting
• Pre-Placement Functional Assessment at a physiotherapy clinic.
• Then thirteen days of training with both a written and practical test.

No surprise here either. After all, hiring is tough and you hope to get it done the first time, right?

I was successful in completing all the above and soon began getting calls to come in to work. I was a postman albeit a temporary on-call postman.

Sadly it only took 48 sporadic hours of work over 6 weeks to realize that this wasn’t
for me.

No surprise here as well.
Note: I have a newfound respect for the folks who do this day-in, day-out.

What is surprising however is that Canada Post didn’t follow up to find out why I quit which I can only assume is standard practice.

After developing such an involved screening process and substantially investing both time and money for training, I would want to know where things fell short.
Wouldn’t you?

Maybe the process needs a little tweaking or maybe even a complete rethink but they won’t know because they don’t follow up.

However this is Canada Post I’m talking about and for many people
there’s no surprise here.

Stuffing my face.

It’s been a holiday season of eating, eating and more eating.
Yes there was some fun in between.
And no, I wasn’t alone through all the frivolity.
The one thing I didn’t do though was work. And as it happens
eating and having fun costs money.

Duh.

So time to get refocused.
Time to eat less but better.
Time to get back to work.

Hey 2018, game on!

Green

March Madness

March is about looking forward to the coming of Spring, the excitement of college basketball and most importantly, taking a break to spend time with family.

March can also be a time for minor breakdowns.

Where to go, what to do, how will the work get done while I’m gone
and who can I trust with it so I won’t worry about it.

This may be where I come in.

I offer off-site help with graphic design, final art, art direction and more so you can feel just a little bit easier about the looming madness of March Break.

It is coming.

Money.

Money, get away
Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay
Money, it’s a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I’ll buy me a football team

Money, get back
I’m all right Jack keep your hands off of my stack
Money, it’s a hit
Don’t give me that do goody good bullshit
I’m in the high-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Money, it’s a crime
Share it fairly but don’t take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise
It’s no surprise that they’re giving none away
Away away away
Away away away

– lyrics from Pink Floyd’s ‘Money’ from album, The Dark Side of the Moon. Listen to money here.

Now I’m going to spend some and download the album.